Remembering the Forgotten

A nun gave me a card with this prayer during the Holy Week a few years back. Soon after, I started saying the prayer daily. I would like to think that, in doing so, I am able to help ease, aid, or maybe even hasten the passage of souls into heaven -- especially those for whom prayers are no longer said.

In May last year, my husband revealed that he had had a sighting -- a ghost sighting, that is -- of a woman and a child in the centuries-old apartment where we had been staying in Krakow. They looked, he said, as though they were asking for help.

That got me thinking... Maybe I should make special mention of them whenever I say the prayer for forgotten souls. So I did.

Months later, I just had this strong sense that it was okay to stop praying for them, that somehow they had moved on to a better place and were finally enjoying the peace that had evaded them for so long. I have no way of verifying that, of course. But by faith, I believe it to be true.

Today I share the prayer with you in the hope that you will take time to say it -- for the many lost, restless and forgotten souls who continue to yearn for everlasting repose. The prayer won't take a minute, but I am certain its fruits will reverberate into eternity.

Graveyard Moments, Too

Click to read my previous post
"Graveyard Moments"

I have friends and relatives who no longer go to the cemetery on All Saints' Day. They have their reasons, and I respect their decision. But I think the tradition we follow on this feast -- visiting graves, offering flowers, lighting candles, saying prayers -- is both beautiful and meaningful.

It's true that the tombs only contain decaying or already decayed bodies -- sometimes not even that. It's true that the souls have long gone to heaven or purgatory -- hopefully, not elsewhere. And it's also true that the living can remember the dead even without going to the cemetery. Still, I find it meaningful to visit the burial grounds of our loved ones at least once a year -- to read and reread their names, to recall the dates of their birth and death, to remember how they lived and died.

It makes sense that we remember our loved ones who have died even without visiting their graves. But what about those family members whom we never got a chance to meet -- those whom we never knew in person but who are part of our personal history?

Bishop Luis Antonio Tagle (now the Archbishop of Manila) once narrated that most of his relatives are now abroad and how sad it was that, when the "young ones" in his family visit the cemetery, they no longer know or remember the dead they are visiting. 

I for one never got to know my paternal grandfather and maternal grandparents. On both sides I have relatives I never had the chance to meet. Visiting their tombs, offering them flowers, lighting candles for them, saying a prayer for their souls ... These are all I can do to thank them for helping to make me who I am today.

In a sense, All Saints' Day is like a big family reunion, a unique occasion for passing on family history. When we "tomb hop," we not only remember those who have died but also reach out to the living. We recall our common roots and reconnect with those like us who were left behind. We keep our shared memories alive. And right there, among the tombs of the dead, we celebrate life.

Graveyard Moments

About a year ago today, I read Neil Gaiman's The Graveyard Book. It's a strange but enchanting story about a boy who was raised by ghosts in a graveyard after his family was murdered. It's a rather sad tale, really. A story about being alone, longing to fit in and searching for something (or someone). It's also about loving and losing, letting go and moving on.

It must have been an aftereffect of reading The Graveyard Book that, for some reason, I found myself wanting to linger a bit longer at the cemetery on All Saints' Day. I wondered how old our town cemetery was and what kind of secrets its tombs held.

Somehow, the ghost characters in the book reminded me that the corpses buried in those tombs were once "real" people who laughed and cried, sang and danced, breathed and lived. Yet no matter how much they were loved or hated, no matter how much their death was mourned over, their memory fades as the years pass. In time, their graves and tomb markers are all that will remain, reminding the living that -- for a short while -- so and so once walked on this earth.

In about a week, on All Saints' Day, I will be going back to that cemetery. The old headstones with now-familiar names are bound to be there still. But for sure, there will be fresh ones on which new names are engraved. I hope I remember to mention those names in a whispered prayer as I pass by. And I hope you do, too -- in memory of our fellow travelers, who just happened to have gone on ahead of us.

Go to Graveyard Moments, Too

It's Not about Me

Sometimes the very things that I resent or detest are the ones that can or actually do make me grow. Those acts that are difficult to do because they require me to move out of my comfort zone -- to go where I would rather not go, to do what I would give anything to not do, to give what I would rather keep for myself. Those deeds that require me to extend myself outward in service and open my heart wider to accommodate others.

The fact is, the world does not revolve around me. Never did. Never will. And the moment I let myself be fooled into thinking it does, the path of service becomes overgrown with self-absorption and impossible to walk on.

No to Deadlines!

Today I learned we shouldn't assign deadlines to people. Persons -- hearts, souls -- are not reports or projects that we can demand "completion" of at a certain time or date. Each one needs time to grow, to change, to blossom and bear fruit, but the amount of time it takes for these things to happen differs for every person.

Just because certain people do not meet our "deadlines" and expectations doesn't mean they're bad or hopeless. It just means God is taking a bit more time working in their lives.

It's important to be open to the new, surprising, funny, weird, scary, tried-and-tested, normal, unusual, and exciting ways that God may call us, use us or reach out to us. To be open to how He does the same to other people. To be open to how long or short it may take to accomplish His will in each of our lives. To be open to how He may use people to catch our attention or send us a message -- however unlikely or undeserving the messengers may seem to us. Most of all, to be open to God being God.

Lost in Translation

I believe that most of us mean well most of the time. But somehow, our good intentions often get lost in translation. That is why it is so important to believe in the good -- the best -- in each person because it is from there that everything will flow.

When we believe a person means harm, everything he or she does becomes suspect. But when we believe a person means well, we can make allowances for miscommunication or lack of communication.

What Inspires You?

The more I think about it, the clearer my answer to this question becomes.

It is God's faithfulness that inspires me. It is seeing how wonderfully He works in the lives of people, including my own.

I am inspired by the struggles of those who are in difficulty -- or rather by their perseverance and persistent hope.

I am inspired by how God answers prayers, especially in the most unexpected ways.

I am inspired by the relationships that are healed, the conflicts that are resolved, even after many years of heartaches and distress.

I am inspired by the change of heart I witness in people -- especially in the most hardened and calloused individuals.

I am inspired by the love and compassion within and among families, friends, acquaintances, communities, and even total strangers.

What about you? What inspires you?

Live Now!

Birthdays are as good a time as any to think about death. And while the subject of death may be eerie or morbid to some, I find it useful to ponder the subject, mainly because it leads me to reflect on life. Knowing that everything can end in a snap of Divine Fingers keeps me on my toes. This day may be the beginning, or it may be the end... the first of many more days, or the last day of my life.

I am turning another year older in a few days. I feel like I have aged -- grown, learned, experienced, taught, lived -- so much but also like I have aged so little over the years. That's good, I think. Anyway, I like the thought: so much done, so much still to do; so much has come, so much still to come. That is how each day is anyway, isn't it?

Like anniversaries, birthdays are milestones for me. They mark an end and a beginning. They make me look back and move forward. They lead me to be grateful and to be hopeful. They remind me that time is running -- fast -- and that it waits for no man (or woman). There are things to be said and done. And it is best not to put them off for a later time because a "later time" may never come.

I will live now then -- and live to the full!

Thanks, Eina!

Thanks to my goddaughter Eina (and her mom Leezl) for letting me post this. Eina created this artwork on the theme "Fear not, I am with you."

I think it expresses the essence of my previous post in a delightfully simple and beautiful way.

So Who is Truly Safe?

Some nights ago I woke up at dawn filled with fears about the dangers that lurk everywhere. Maybe because I watched the news before I slept. Hearing one bad news after another -- a stabbing in school, a woman gunned down, a student abducted, etc. -- made me realize how easily any of those things can happen to me, or to anyone else for that matter.

Once you get to thinking it's not safe out there, ... well, it can get really scary, and the fear can be paralyzing. I can understand why some people choose to isolate themselves from the world by refusing to go out of their homes. But then again, who says we are safe in our homes?

Of course, there's another kind of recluse, the kind who builds a wall around his or her heart, who refuses to be vulnerable, who hides from love, and runs away from commitment and meaningful relationships. Such people are "safe," I guess, but I think their lives are shallow.

Maybe it's the same with physical safety. When we allow ourselves to be ruled by our fears of the dangers that "out there" and lock ourselves inside our seemingly safe little worlds, well ... that kinda makes our lives shallow, too. After all, there is so much out there to explore and experience.

I guess it's a matter of choice. I choose to trust in God in the face of danger. I believe His angels surround me, and His love follows me wherever I go. How many times have I been in danger without me even being aware of it? How many times have angels saved me from harm without me even knowing it?

Yes, there is Someone up there watching over me. So "even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil," for God is with me.

Reminiscing Bohol

A year ago this month, I was in Bohol enjoying a long-awaited vacation. May I share with you my thoughts then after a day spent mostly lying on a hammock by the beach under the shade of coconut trees?

It still doesn't cease to amaze me how many shades of blue there are -- in the sky, in the ocean... So with green. And the sunset last night... I cannot even begin to describe its glorious hues. God must have been showing off -- mixing a heavenly blend of purples, pinks, oranges, and reds. What a spectacular show!

God is so alive in this place. His Spirit pervades every element. His presence lives and moves in every tree, every drop of water, every cloud, every grain of sand. I have never felt so enveloped in His love through nature.

Today, as I lay peacefully in my hammock, I thought about how beautiful this place is and how long it took to create this place -- the sands ground to powder by millions of years of crashing waves, the trees that took years to sprout and grow and bear fruit, the ocean water that has been recycled over and over again for ages...

And then I realize, the ocean in all its age-old grandeur is not God's best showcase. The trees that reach up to the sky in praise of their Creator are not God's top display. More than the treasure the ocean holds and the beauty the trees provide, it is mankind that gives God His greatest joy. Now that is truly amazing!

Which Color Are You?

Each of us is a color. A particular tone, pitch, depth, and hue. A unique shade. We each have a space to fill in. For some, it is a huge and expansive area. For others, a space that is neither large nor small. For still others, a tiny nook or crack or corner. But together we make up the beautiful tapestry of life. A design that would not be complete if all the spaces are not filled in. A picture that would otherwise be dull if not colored in with just the right shade.

Growing Up Means Letting Go

Fr. Joel Jason shared the following video in the second session of the Theology of the Body course he is giving:

I couldn't help but smile -- and feel sorry for Ava -- when I first watched this. The poor girl had to learn the art of letting go at such a young age! Fr. Joel used the video to illustrate how painful it often is to let go of our desires -- our pacifiers, so to speak.

Come to think of it, everyone has some sort of pacifier. To some, it may be smoking, drinking, drugs, shopping, binge eating, or excessive dieting. To still others, it may be junk food, computer games, or credit cards. To still others, it may be a false hope or a grudge. Our pacifiers may even be essentially good, like a relationship, a hobby, a sport, a job, or even some volunteer work. But when they begin to stand in the way of God instead of being the way to God, then it is time to let go.

Ava's daddy knew it was time for his daughter to let go of her pacifier: she is old enough and doesn't need it anymore. He knew it was the right thing to do. So despite Ava's copious tears and obvious anguish, her father tied the pacifier to a balloon and sent it up to pacifier heaven. Unfortunately, saying goodbye to our own pacifiers is far more difficult to do -- and often so much more heartbreaking. But like Ava is bound to realize one day, learning to say goodbye is essential to moving forward. Letting go is part of growing up.

In Search of the Sweet Spot

"Use your uniqueness to make a big deal out of God every day of your life." -- Max Lucado

That quote up there helped me along on a journey of self-introspection that somehow led to the creation of this blog. It comes from the book “Cure for the Common Life” by Max Lucado. According to Lucado, each person has a sweet spot -- a particular zone in which he or she was made to dwell. Life makes sense for the person who lives in his or her own sweet spot. But the person who hasn’t yet found and doesn’t yet live in his or her spot suffers from what Lucado calls “the common life” -- a mediocre existence lacking passion and purpose.

Basically, what Max Lucado says is nothing new. You’ve probably heard it before. I have. Many authors have written and speakers declared that each person is made for a specific purpose and is specifically equipped according to the purpose for which he or she was created. Of course, they have each written and spoken about it in slightly different ways. Among others, the sweet spot has been defined as the intersection between success (what you do best) and satisfaction (what you enjoy doing); the zone where passion, talent, and opportunity meet; and the region where interests, skills, and opportunity converge. Simply put: it’s where your gifts (or set of gifts) are utilized for your specific life purpose.

“Cure for the Common Life” includes a discovery guide -- a tool to help the reader find his or her sweet spot and, from there, to discover his or her life purpose. I have since found other “guides" on finding one’s sweet spot or core gift, or whatever else people may call it. Most involve the following steps:

• Listing down things that you loved doing and think you did well, whether as a child, as an adult, or somewhere in between -- those completed projects that made you feel successful and satisfied or those activities that seemed to come naturally to you. 
• Finding the common threads in these activities -- recurring patterns as to how you went about doing the task, what subjects you found interesting, under what conditions you worked best, how you related to other people, what got you started and kept you going, and what particular aspect of the task gave you the most satisfaction.
• Gathering together all these insights, which may eventually lead to a personal mission statement of sorts. 

Most of the guides I've seen are relatively easy to use, and often the only investments required are time and commitment. More importantly, the results, if one takes the time to go through the whole process seriously, are remarkably enlightening and possibly life-changing.

If you found this interesting, click here or here to know more.

Something Called Sugarleaf

First off, I want to clarify that this blog is not about sugar or other sweet (flavor-wise) stuff. Having said that, let me write about the Stevia rebaudiana, a not-so-humble shrub that I learned about while doing research for a science article for kids.


The stevia is the source of a sweetener that is said to be about 300 times sweeter than sugar. Just imagine how sweet that is! The plant, which is native to Paraguay, also goes by the names sweetleaf and sugarleaf — for obvious reasons. It has been used for hundreds of years to sweeten tea, soothe stomach troubles, and hasten the healing of wounds. The Europeans discovered the plant in the 16^th century and eventually introduced it to the western world. Today there are stevia plantations not just in Paraguay but also in Brazil, Uruguay, Israel, Thailand, Germany, Israel, Malaysia, and China. 

The sweet stuff in the stevia resides in its leaves, which produce super-sweet chemical compounds called steviosides. Fresh stevia leaves give a very sweet taste when chewed. The leaves become much sweeter when dried. But they are sweetest when in crystal-like powder form. In fact, the stevia powder is so sweet that only a pinch or a drop is needed.

Because it comes from a natural plant source, many people claim the stevia is better for the body than other sweeteners. It is also said to contain other healthy stuff like vitamins C and B3, as well as calcium, beta-carotene, fiber, iron, and protein. More importantly, the human body does not break down steviosides. The compound is not converted into glucose, not absorbed in the blood, and produces zero calories! For this reason, the stevia sweetener is said to be suitable even for people with diabetes and those looking to lose weight.  It is also said to be nontoxic and noncarcinogenic and to have antibacterial properties. What’s more, it supposedly prevents cavity when used as a mouthwash or toothpaste ingredient. 

Although the stevia sweetener is already being added to various foods and drinks, some researchers argue that there isn’t enough evidence that it is safe to use. Some claim it may damage genes or interfere with metabolism. Others say it may increase cancer risk and cause reproductive problems. What seems certain at this point is that, after hundreds of years of use and possibly thousands of hours of tests, the stevia may still need to go through many more scientific trials before it can be conclusively declared safe for human consumption.

Welcome to my blog!

What does it take to start a blog?


COURAGE.

The courage to share one's thoughts to the world. The courage to open oneself to feedback -- both positive and negative. The courage to trust the Internet's dubious and ever-changing ways.

It took some time to muster the courage I needed. But here I am writing my first post. And here it is: my first blog. Welcome to Life in the Sweet Spot!